The season premiere of Survivor was a double-header, and it’ll be broken up into two posts. Since hey, our website is new and we need content! Anyway. At the very first tribal council, Gonzalez was voted out.

As we start back up, Dom ends up finding an Immunity Idol in the dark. (I don’t think any sort of AP guide will tell me if Immunity Idol is supposed to be capitalized. But it seems like a legit, important thing, so. It’s being capitalized.)  He can’t even read it yet based on the lack of sun, but when he’s able to, the paperwork states it’s an “authentic hidden Immunity Idol” from Andrea. The paperwork also says that the idol “has been haunted for five years.” Really, show? You’re going with curses?

“This Ghost Island throws a wrench in things,” Morgan said. She ends up finding the Legacy Advantage, which has Sierra’s name on it. She realizes that Jacob gifted it, and reads out loud that she can only use it at the 13 point and the 6 point. So, she’s going to need to stay in this game for the long haul.

Back on Ghost Island, Jacob decides to stretch the truth. He’s going to say that he got an idol while he was there — not the Legacy Advantage.

When he comes back, he said he feels like he’s “in a lot of trouble.” He seems super surprised about Gonzalez, and then tells his tribe the stories of Ghost Island. He presents an “immunity idol” that looks like a hermit crab on a string. He said he’ll be playing it at the next tribal council “no matter what.” He thinks that by being fake-honest, he’ll be safe.

Wrong. Everyone knows it’s a fake idol. Brendan thinks that if he’s going to make up a story, he needs to make it seem true. The fact that Jacob had no documentation was kind of strange, especially since Jacob is a fan of the show.

Let’s talk about real idols. Dom said he wants to chat with Chris and keep things cool, hoping they can maybe work together in the future. “Let’s start fresh,” he tells him. “I want to play with you.” Chris admits that he thought Dom was gunning for him. Chris also asks him if he has the idol, and Dom says no.

Dom decided to create a fake idol with thze paperwork of the real idol, and thinks he can earn Chris’s trust by presenting him the fake. Smart move, Dom. Jacob could learn a lot from you.

Then again, Chris thinks it’s weird that Dom showed him an idol after stating he didn’t have one. “It’s up to me, as a leader, to eliminate him,” Chris states. Is it?

The Immunity Challenge

Uh oh, it’s Immunity Challenge time! Dom hands Probst the idol, and surprise surprise, immunity is back up for grabs. This challenge includes obstacles, buoys, and basketball. They’re also playing for a reward — chairs, pillows, blankets, hammocks, and a washboard so they can clean like, the one outfit they have. Tide Pods are not included with this win.

Can I say that it’s hard to properly document what happens during challenges? Unless someone needs medical called, it’s usually a little strange and tough to write it out. So, uh. Both tribes are doing okay. Until the focus goes to James.

While Chris collects eight buoys. James treads water. “James really struggling now for Naviti,” Probst says. He bobs around in the water in a confusing manner.

Then the focus is all on Donathan, who’s really kicking butt during this challenge “Out of nowhere, a hero emerges from Malolo!” Probst claims. But, it’s Naviti who wins. They make all the baskets. That means Malolo is back to tribal, and Donathan is in trouble, even though he was a total hero. “With some encouragement of my friends here they… wanted me to try it,” he said in regards to his victory.

Jacob thinks he’ll be sent to Ghost Island, but nope!  It’s Donathan. Well, good for him. Bad for Jacob.

On Ghost Island, Donathan admits that he’s nervous. “My mind’s racing,” he said. “I definitely don’t want any ghosts around me!” He wants to just go with the flow. He smashes the urn, and gets a message that he won’t get a game for any sort of fun goodie. So instead of playing a game, he decides to talk about rising to the occasion and his personal challenge victory. “I came out here to play, and I’m here to win,” he says.

Back to Jacob. He’s obviously on the chopping block, but he has no idea. Stephanie tries to flirt with Jacob to learn the idol truth, and in the process, they talk about “tribe strength.” Jacob caves and admits that the idol isn’t real. But he’s only telling her! “Jacob divulged everything to me,” she said.

Laurel admits she’s sad that the “strong and beautiful” have run the show, but haven’t talked to her about it. So hey, maybe there’s still some hope. If Jacob continues on, mark my word — he’ll be the most entertaining.

Tribal Council

At Tribal Council, the (fake) Immunity Idol is brought up. The fact that Jacob has been the only person at Ghost Island makes people question everything. The phrase “information imbalance” is mentioned, which Probst seems to adore.

No matter what, Jacob still thinks that he’s in the greatest tribe in the history of the show. “It’s who he is as a person,” Stephanie says. Jacob makes sure everyone knows he’s not actually an optimist, but a paranoid indoor kid.

Brendan, the leader, doesn’t think this is about physical strength anymore. Maybe in the old days of Survivor, but not now. (Well, that explains Gonzales at least.)

Probst tallies the votes and asks about idols, but Jacob stays quiet and keeps his hermit crab in his pocket. James and Jacob both get two votes at first, with Michael receiving one. Sadly, Jacob gets the third vote, and the BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO SURVIVOR IS GONE.

Long live the ‘fro, you guys.