It’s a monumental episode of Teen Mom 2. Why’s that? Well, this is the first Teen Mom 2 without David freaking everyone out. But, we’ll get into that soon. First, let’s start things off by talking about Chelsea.

Chelsea couldn’t wait to see if the baby was a boy or girl, so she went to get her results. And it’s a girl! She tells the crew before Cole, and wants to buy some balloons or something to celebrate the news. This would have been way more exciting if she didn’t tell social media months ago.

Speaking of “things we already know,” supposedly Briana posted something on Twitter today about how her relationship with Javi was faked for the camera. So, uh. Why should anyone be invested in her segments tonight? I think Javi is pretty much her storyline all season. Briana talks about how hard it’s been to be long distance, which, no shit. It’s hard to get into an LDR with someone with kids, because nobody can really leave easily.

Kail looks really weird in her next segment. Maybe it’s her makeup? She hears that there’s trouble in paradise for Briana and Javi, and Kail reminds everyone that “Kail is always right.” Listen, I know she can come off as being a bit rough around the edges at times, but I still like Kail. She’s got three mega-cute kids and an education. And she was also kind of right about this.

Leah, Jeremy, and Addie have a family day painting pottery, and it’s already more interesting that Chelsea’s gender reveal. (Sorry, girl.)

Goodbye, David

But if you’re looking for drama, well, here it is. Jenelle is on camera and says that David didn’t get fired from Teen Mom. He just chose not to film. Sure, Jan.

Supposedly Babs said that Jace could decide whether or not he visits with Jenelle when he’s 10. He’ll have control then. In some states, it’s 14, but in their county, it’s 10, which even Jenelle admitted was young. “He wants to make whoever happy that he’s with,” Jenelle says.

Back at Kail’s, her friends Quay and Bone are helping Isaac celebrate his birthday by playing Jumanji. Lincoln has already passed out. Isaac is really thrilled about all his gifts, except for one game called “Toilet Trouble” which he responds to with, “Ew.” Javi even calls in to wish him a happy birthday, which is special. Seriously, Javi is a camera hog, but his relationship with Isaac is sweet.

The Gender Surprise

Aubree and Chelsea drive to the store to buy some baby stuff to surprise Cole, but Chelsea’s also worried they might be spotted out in public by fans. They think up a backstory. Even though the store is totally empty, the cashier asked them what the pink decor was for. “One of her friends,” Chelsea says. She admits to Aubree that she’s a bad liar.

Briana admits to a producer that while she and Javi are no longer together, he still wants to be friends. It’s because of distance, in her eyes. Her sister says Javi is trying to trap Briana in Delaware, just like he trapped Kail. Oh, so they’re cool and sympathetic with Kail now? Briana is also getting a surgery, but Javi was unhappy since “his image comes first.”

One of her procedures is an ass deflation. Seriously. An ass. Deflation. Her words.

But, enough about that. Leah gathers her children, including Ali who was way too tired and falling asleep in class. Leah visits her sister Victoria and talks about the pottery family date. She thinks Addie enjoyed having both of her parents together. “I just don’t want things being the way they were before,” Leah admits. Jeremy used to go two weeks without talking to Addie, which is rightfully screwed up. Then she talked about Ali falling asleep on the bus. She goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up naturally around 5, so she shouldn’t be so tired. Leah says the whole condition is scary, and my heart goes out to her.

When David’s not around, Jenelle feels safe filming with Babs, I guess? Babs wants her to have lunch with her, and Jenelle said she’s too busy. “All this week?” Babs questions. Jenelle says yes, and that’s that. Poor Babs. In the car, Babs asked Jace why he didn’t call, and he said Jenelle wouldn’t let him. So, yeah. Some fuckery is happening there, and the kids aren’t benefiting.

A Javi Moment

Javi talks about the break up with his sister, and I feel like just yesterday he showed his sister the ring. He says their futures aren’t lining up, and mentions how Briana stripped her social media of photos of the two of them. Again, a weekly reminder that Javi is expecting a baby with another woman.

But now it’s time for Chelsea’s big surprise. They hang pink balloons and have a pink cake and a banner that says “It’s A Girl” which I seriously hope they didn’t buy at the same store where they told the cashier it was for Aubree’s friend. “Oh my god, another girl!” Cole said, which is way sweet. He’s Aubree’s real father. Screw Adam.

Leah talks to Corey about what’s going on, and it’s good they have each other — Ali’s situation is so unique that they just don’t know what to expect.

Javi is immediately cool again after breaking up with Bri and wants to go on Kail’s podcast with her. The podcast is open for anything. Javi is “excited to join” the podcast and answer questions. He admits him and Briana broke up, but he doesn’t know what the future holds. It’s not very dramatic. But, it’s still a little awkward since his ex-wife is asking about it. Javi does say that Bri is nothing like she’s portrayed on television — but, he hopes one day everyone will get along. Kail is a little bitter since Javi is super, super quick to defend Briana, but never stood up for Kail — the mother of his child.

Speaking of Briana, she’s talking about her butt doctor appointment and is trying to line up someone to wipe her butt for her now that long-distance Javi is out of the picture. Snore.

Now for the real WTF moment —  Babs gets some information about Kaiser and Ensley from Jace. There was supposedly a big family event on the boat, and Kaiser wasn’t invited. Instead, he was in daycare. Something tells me that Kaiser is going to be rescued from The Land soon, so. Hopefully that gets better.

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