Last week on Marriage Boot Camp, contestants had to face their fears of communication, or face a bunch of snakes. This week, supposedly a bunch of dogs are involved and Amber Portwood has yet another verbal confrontation. I am here for it.

Jenn says she’s always in the middle when it comes to Mob Wife Renee and sister Lana, who I still can’t tell apart. “I’m angry,”  Renee says. They end up bringing Chrissy into it for some reason, who admits that they’ve all had some rough times. Chrissy has been sacrificing a lot herself, between her longtime fiancé and his mom.

Now the Portwood family. Amber’s mom is really sick, coughing up a lung, and she wanted to prove to her that she’s there for her. Between you and me, her mom just sounds drunk. “That was such an act,” Matt says. “And Amber knows it’s bullshit too…Tonya sees herself as a victim. Amber has a lot of resentment, and Tonya has a lot of denial.” It’s really tough for me to see a show where Matt actually looks reasonable.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ish and Dr. V are scheming behind closed doors, regarding the next challenge. They watch the families on secret cameras and think Tonya should be pulled from the next drill based on her hangover or whatever. She’s resting in her crib. Yes, a reminder, the Portwoods are sleeping in cribs during this show.

“It’s been five days that they’ve been re-back in contact,” Matt says, noting that Tonya’s story that first day about abuse was kind of BS. Then she talks about how Amber accused him of domestic abuse, and how his only response was “Wow.” Brandi asks Matt if she’s sober, and Matt actually says yes — except for her prescriptions. Brandi says that something seems off with her and that there’s no way she can be sober. Also, I know that Amber and Matt have their own definition of sober. Amber’s been drinking throughout all of these episodes, which isn’t necessarily “sober.”

The Silent Choice

Renee is given a note where she needs to read in a silent confessional. The note says that both Lana and Jenn will go through a distressing task later and that she can choose to take one, or both of, of their places. “I think I’m carrying so much resentment right now,” she says. “Everybody here needs to pull their weight.” She decides to stay out of it, which is a decision she needs to keep to herself.

Chrissy, Jim Jones, and Mama Jones get in another outdoor fight. “If you’re part of him, that means you’re part of me,” Mama says.

Matt is the next to get the letter for the confessional. Matt, by the way, is wearing the stupidest tank top ever. Matt’s letter is similar to Renee’s letter. “Geez, I don’t know,” Matt says. “…I will take both of their places.”

Chrissy is the one who gets to read the letter for the Jones family. She thinks they all need good communication skills, but that they all need to pull their weight. “I don’t want to have to keep making the sacrifices,” she says. Afterward, she picks up the producers phone and asks for “vodka, now” which makes Brandi laugh.

While they’re all eating a meal, Amber accuses Brandi of always drinking. She claims she’s only had two drinks since she’s been at Marriage Boot Camp, which probably isn’t true. “I’m not sloppy until I am,” Brandi laughs a little. Chrissy thinks that Amber demands attention all the time.

“I’m starting to feel sorry for Matt,” says Brandi and nobody else ever prior to this moment. But hey, cheers.

The Attack Dogs

Everyone needs to head to the lawn, and they end up seeing the dogs. Amber loves dogs. “I have an English Mastiff and a Rottweiler!” Amber says. She also had like, 900 others.

Unlike Amber’s dogs, these dogs are nasty and want to fight. This may very well be the distressing task. Matt may get eaten by dogs tonight.

“Today’s exercise is arguably the most frightening we’ve ever done,” Dr. V says. “The chosen family member will put on the bite suit, and on our mark, cross the finish line.” The purpose of this is to see who’ll sacrifice for their loved ones. And the only one that will is…Matt?

Before the dog challenge, Amber and Brandi try to make amends, but Amber seems to do it in a snobby way. Supposedly people talk all over her at the time.

Guy chose not to save Brandi, and Brandi seems surprised when she’s asked to run the course. Of course, as the doctors say, Guy can always change his mind and opt to run the course instead. But he doesn’t. The dog ends up biting her in mid-air. It’s kind of scary.

Mama Jones and Jim decided that it’s going to be Chrissy to do it since they totally won’t. But uh, guess what. It doesn’t work that way. Mama gets suited up and looks pissed. “My heart is racing, that’s all I know,” she says. But wait —  Chrissy actually sacrificed herself for Mama this whole time. “I need Nancy to know I’m committed,” she says. What a blindside!

Chrissy gets attacked by both dogs almost immediately. “Chrissy’s taking on two dogs, and she’s being taken for granted again,” Brandi says after Jim literally stands there and watches. “He did nothing,” Dr. V admits.

The Portwoods are next. “We’ve decided that it’s going to be you, Amber,” Dr. Ish says. But last minute, nope. A switch is made. It’s Matt since he volunteered. The dog goes for his arm. He does it since he’d have been scared to see Amber go down, and Tonya was sick.

Amber thinks that even though she’s the youngest, she’s still one of the “more mature ones.”

Now to the Mob fam. They’re all enablers, and usually, the task at hand gets pushed on to Renee. But not this time. Lana and Jenn are going out there. Or, maybe not. The sisters both refuse to do it since they’re awful, and Renee ended up going out to get attacked by a dog anyway. Which she does immediately with her jerk sisters looking on. Renee is disappointed that they didn’t partake, and she didn’t feel very supported throughout the whole thing.

After The Challenge

Back in the house, the useless Jim Jones tries to kiss on Chrissy, and she is not having it. She got dragged by dogs while he just looked, so it’s a response that makes all the sense in the world.

The ladies kind of get together and ask about Amber. Brandi admits she’s apologized, but they all don’t really get her. All the Boot Campers are asked to go to the Boot Camp room, where Ish and V explain that the challenge was all about sacrifice.

In the Boot Camp room, everyone is made aware of the challenge, and Brandi is a little upset. Guy admits that watching Brandi get attacked by that dog wasn’t something he liked, and the counselors asked him a bit more about abandoning is fatherly instinct. Amber admits that Guy talked about Brandi being an escort randomly while in the kitchen, so obviously he talks shit constantly.

Amber was swapped out at the last minute since Matt volunteered for both of them. Once again, Matt’s “I will take both of their places” footage is shown. For the Jones family, Nancy almost seems surprised to see Chrissy sub in her place. “She really don’t hate me,” she says in a confessional.

Lana and Jenn try to turn this on Renee. Because she seemed to jump in last minute. Who knows if they would have changed their mind? Come on now.

Toler’s Opinion

Judge Lynn Toler is back once again for evaluations since she’ll be around every episode I guess.

Judge Toler saw things go down all day and first starts with the Mob Wife sisters. He calls them ever-hoarders, and that kindness is never acknowledged. Toler has some sort of bucket analogy that’s confusing, but says that they’re terrific people who are toxic together.

The Joneses are up next. Toler thinks Chrissy and Mama are both strong women. And Jim, who admits he was scared, needs to step up.

For the Portwood family, Toler admits that Amber struggles with mental health issues. She needs to find a solid center somewhere. Brandi says that if she were Amber, she’d check into a mental health facility and stay there. Matt thinks Toler’s observation was right based on what she saw, but overall wasn’t really 100%.

Renee is a little miffed at Amber for mentioning that whole “Guy in the Kitchen” thing, and Amber and Matt chat outside about how they have no respect for Renee. Even though they were huge fans going into this. Five days can change everything, apparently.