This week’s episode of Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition starts out with Tonya. She talks about how she’s moved around a lot, and her husband was in strip clubs, and boo hoo. At the table with her housemates, Amber tells a different story — she said her mom was never home when she was growing up and needs to be accountable.

Surely this next challenge will help address these issues. And it’s Christmas-related! “Christmas is my favorite holiday,” Brandi says, sounding a little drunk. Dr. Ish and Dr. V wish the boot campers a merry Christmas.

While it mostly provides happy feelings, it can also bring stress. And the Graziano sisters totally get it. “It’s simultaneously the happiest time, but could also be the most depressing time,” Ish says. According to the docs, depression and suicide rates often increase during the holiday time. Jim Jones responds to all of this the same way he has all season — with a look that states, “I don’t want to be here.”

They’re going to dive into their pasts too better understand their future. The families are split up. “It’s time to figure out where your cycle started, and how we can stop it,” Dr. V says. Each boot camper needs to dig up a painful memory from their past and share it. Oof.

The Graziano Family

Lana tells a story about how her father called them fat. In Jenn’s group, she says that her father ruled the roost. Renee admits she has a screwed up ankle and hurt it in the pool further the other night. But she’s still able to stand up and put a little bit of weight on it. Renee’s story was that her first boyfriend stabbed her, so his father made sure he could never do it again. Yep — Renee’s boyfriend’s arms were in casts. “This drill took me by surprise,” Lana admits. (P.S. I totally had to go a Google image search to make sure I IDed them correctly. I am 95% positive that this segment of recap is correct.)

The Portwoods

Now it’s time for the Portwood Fam. Amber is in one group, and Matt and Tonya are in another. Tonya says her father was an alcoholic who beat up all five children with a belt when she was drunk. Her mom was yelling and screaming during it. Brandi has a soft spot in her heart for her.

Amber also talks about violence. Tonya beat up her father and her kids, and cops came to take pictures. “I started taking oxycodone and I was numbing my pain with that,” Amber admits.

Now it’s Matt’s turn. “You really want to do this,” he asks Dr. Ish. “I got raped when I was a child,” Matt says. “I was in second grade. And it was an authority figure.” Brandi feels rage and anger for Matt. Matt continues to tell the story — he told his dad, but his dad didn’t beat up the person who did it. He just never spoke of it again, and then left when he was nine. Matt’s father had two kids Matt never even knew about, and hello, cycle. “I feel a little bit more free now,” Matt admits in a confessional.

Amber talks about prison and how she was a great influence on her daughter since she chose prison over drug court, and I still don’t totally get her logic here.

The Jones & Glanville Families

Guy and Brandi’s stories also include violence. “It felt like she was going against the current,” Guy says. During his childhood, he did the same thing. And he kinda-sorta treated Brandi the same way he was treated. Cycles!

Chrissy had to visit her father at a drug den during her birthday. “Chrissy’s story is really breaking my heart,” Renee admits. Jim Jones breaks down and says he had to take care of himself. It was a battle between him and the streets. Jenn has a teen, and can’t even imagine what it’d be like to see him in that scenario. I will say, this exercise has been really powerful. Chrissy and Mama kiss and hug and tell each other they love each other.

Matt is still taken aback and needs a moment outside.

“Each of them are a piece of their father,” Dr. V says in regards to the Graziano sisters. They think they need to pull Jenn out for a second and see what things are like between Renee and Lana.

Amber learns that Matt opened up, and tells him she’s proud of him and calls him a strong man. Matt says it’s been emotionally exhausting, and they’re only halfway through. The boot campers meet up together and wonder where Jenn is. Jenn is getting into a van, peeling out of the campus.

A special guest arrives because it’s Christmas, and no — it’s not Santa. Is it Judge Lynn Toler in a Santa costume? Maybe.

Let’s Cringe Together

Nope. It’s a little girl who acts like Amber and says a lot of what Amber said during that last exercise. This is a drill that sent Renee, who’s been on this show before back in season seven, out the door for a little. This is rough as hell. “It’s hard seeing a young kid saying something like that,” Amber — surprisingly calm — said.

Next up is, what I swear Tonya says “Lil Tawny,” who says the same thing. Little Matt is next. It’s a kid with glasses who loves baseball. “Oh my god, they read my book,” Matt says when the child Matt says he saw his dad with a red dress. This. Is. Uncomfortable. “Does telling the truth matter if nobody’s listening,” Lil’ Matt says. It breaks real Matt’s heart. If he has any advice to kid Matt, it’s “don’t lie about it.” And Matt breaks down. He throws his glasses down and gets support from the Portwoods.

“I want you to repeat after me. ‘It was not my fault,'” Dr. V says. “Let’s celebrate that you’ve made it this far.” Matt hugs child Matt, who probably has no clue what was going on in the first place. He was probably the son of someone in production. Listen. I was all about this episode and the activity until the child actors came along.

Next up is fake Renee, who’s an old lady. The old lady says she hasn’t seen Lana and Jenn in years. Next up is a fake Graziano in a wheelchair on oxygen. She hasn’t talked to her sisters in years, because… RIP JENN. “Get the F outta here,” Renee says. “This is a joke to me!”

Dr. Ish and Dr. V say that since Jenn is the glue, they hope this exercise will help Lana and Renee. But Renee is angry since it’s her baby sister. And it really is kind of cruel, since sibling death is super rough. Especially when that sibling is MIA from the exercise with no answers as to why.

The doctors ask if Renee only wants a relationship with Lana with a buffer there, and then they get it. It’s not up to Jenn to keep the family together, and it’s a big breakthrough. Then they ask where Jenn is, and if she “had something to do with this shit.” The doctors explain that it’ll just be the two of them for the next 24 hours, and Lana and Renee suddenly get it.

Brandi and Guy are next. “I have two dads. One of my dads, my mom likes to call him a free spirit,” little Brandi says. Little Brandi wants to get married someday but doesn’t think she’s pretty enough. But surgery can fix that. Little Guy’s parents are too strict and wants to raise his kids to do what they want to do.

“It was real,” Guy says. “I felt his pain. I felt my daughter’s pain.” He talks to little Brandi and gives her a hug. He thinks it unlocked what he’s been denying Brandi — love, and affection.

Little Chrissy is next. “I don’t want to let anyone drive me away,” she says. Chrissy explains her mother was timid, which means she wants to stand up for herself as she sees what happens when someone doesn’t. Little Nancy (er, “Mama”) has a dad who likes to do drugs. And that statement pisses Mama off. “I’m done,” she says, walking out. The poor Little Nancy actress looks a little confused.

“She doesn’t like the truth when it’s raw and in her face,” Chrissy admits. Mama swears it’s “not right” and doesn’t even want to acknowledge she’s part of the problem. But she eventually goes back in the room to see young Jim.

Young Jim cries for the second time today. It reminds him how much he loves his son. Young Jim mentions a crackhouse, which Jim and Mama both deny. But, Ish and V say they’ve never changed a story before and actually show Jim’s pre-production video, where he says there were “crack spots.” Maybe Jim meant a different kind of crack?

“Most dysfunctional family behaviors are learned behaviors,” Dr. Ish admits at the very end. This was an opportunity to give a Christmas gift of letting it all out. Really, I already forgot Christmas was a theme here. Anyway, now it’s Toler’s time to shine.

Bringing Out Judge Lynn Toler

Toler says change is hard. She thinks it’s a good thing that Tonya saw her hurt young self, to understand where it came from. “Matt, you have taken a lot in here,” Toler says. She’s proud of that. And so is Amber. Toler saw that in body language, Amber was comforting to both of them.

She tells Guy, pretty much, to step up. Brandi thinks that when he saw his younger self, things came to light. For Jim, Mama, and Chrissy, she thinks Mama needs to — instead of responding immediately — pause and let them conduct their “grown adult business.” Again, Jim and Chrissy have been linked for…forever?

After the huge and draining activity, Matt is so tired and crawls in his crib. And Amber tries to join in for a cuddle as well. He wants to be left alone after a day like that, especially in a single baby bed. Amber responds with a kind response of “fuck you.” And according to next week, she explodes even more.