Last week on Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition, the gang got chased by attack dogs and Brandi Glanville nearly lost her scalp after producers thought it’d be fine sending her out there without a helmet. Previews for this week seem a bit jollier, but as this show is a nightmare, I can guarantee you already that things are about to get chaotic.

It’s Day 4, and the Boot Campers are going to be focused on wants and needs. The first episode started with a shirtless Guy, and then a cut to Brandi who says she feels awful but doesn’t want to go to the emergency room. It could be the booze, or it could be the dog attack.

In the Portwood crib room, Amber tells Matt she’s proud of him for stepping up for the family, and then gets super gross and sexual and asks him to “smack it” at least once. Barf.

Speaking of Amber, she talks about that moment where Guy talked to her about Brandi being an escort. The rest of the house thought she was just trying to start shit, but to be clear here, he really did tell her that Brandi was an escort in the kitchen. I’m actually on her side here.

But, Amber has some dirt out there too. Renee tells her that Matt told everyone what pills she’s on. The lovey-dovey attitude is over — the real Matt is back.

Brandi actually reported that she can’t hear out of one ear which is pretty important. “I feel like somebody hit me in the head with a baseball bat,” she says to Dr. Ish.  She didn’t want to go to the hospital since she thought everyone would think she’s a “big baby,” but she could legit have a concussion.

Dr. Ish and Dr. V both think that Guy should go there with her, because — well — he’s her father and never there for her. Guy tells Ish that he decided to stay in the house instead, and Ish is not here for it. Even Brandi is cool with him staying since Guy stresses her out. “Certain times it is more stressful,” she says during a confessional.

It’s time for another drill. And it’s a puzzle! Amber is already pissed. Jim Jones is impressed over Dr. Ish saying he’s a medical doctor, and since he never talks, the sentiment is even funnier.

Each puzzle piece represents parts of the relationship between family members that are lacking. And each piece is blank. “So few families discuss what they actually need from each other,” Ish explains. The Boot Campers need to write their needs on each piece. It was especially hard for Matt since Amber was staring at his every move.

Amber wrote “trust” on hers, and her definition was “don’t talk about shit” behind anyone’s back, and then threatens to bring out a dictionary to prove her point. Matt writes on his pieces about how it’s “Amber’s world,” and Mama Jones thinks that title would make a pretty good reality show. Matt explains that everything was in his name solely since her credit was shitty and she couldn’t even get cable. Amber claims she was fine before him. “You moved in with me, hon-ee,” she says.

“I wish you guys could live one day in my fucking head,” Amber says. Renee gets it. They both take “head meds.” She’s really hoping the Portwoods work this all out.

Lana, Jenn, and Renee are next. They wish for peace, understanding, and open-mindedness. But since Lana and Jenn totally shut down the dog exercise, it’s kind of a battle.

As for Jim Jones, he wrote down “living together.” He also wrote “communication,” which is funny. Chrissy feels like she’s battling against both Jim and his mom, and personally, I’m shocked she’s still with him.

Each house now opens a portfolio, and some people see fish while others see turkeys. Another challenge is next. Amber admits she hopes it’s a lie detector test. “I’m checked out since I know it’s only going to get worse for me,” Matt says.

At the E.R., Brandi and Guy are fighting in the waiting room. Chrissy says she’s concerned about her, and thinks that the escort thing was probably a tabloid headline that stood out to him.

Matt and Amber are back in their room arguing back and forth. Matt says she’s got everyone fooled, while Amber sees him as a childish person. “Amber, it’s going to take you killing somebody someday for people to realize who you really are,” he says. Matt insinuates Amber put her hands on him, and Amber responds saying he’s a lying con artist. After saying he’d never say it, Matt eventually says “Yes I hit her.”

“I’ve never once not done anything in self-defense,” Matt says.

Brandi comes back, and she needs to “lie down today.” But it’s nothing serious, which is good. “My pain is kind of outweighing my ability to forgive my dad,” Brandi says.

Brandi is out, and Matt is hiding in his room in the bed for the next challenge, which is a Thanksgiving dinner. Dr. V goes up to get him, and he’s upset that Amber keeps saying he’s an abuser. V thinks it’d make things worse if her behavior stopped him from participating.

The challenge is a Thanksgiving Day episode, where the Boot Campers will switch up families and take on specific Thanksgiving tasks. Like, Amber, Jim, and Jenn will provide the main course. “I’m not learnin’ how to cook,” Jim says.

V manages to get Matt and puts him in the group that collects vegetables. The challenge, really, is to see if these new families pull the same shit they do in their actual families. Matt’s with Guy and Chrissy.

Jim does his first task ever in trying to catch the turkeys. But he does the bare minimum. Amber, the self-proclaimed animal lover, actually tries to slap one of the turkeys away. Dr. Ish pulls Jim aside, and he admits he’s only on the show for his mom and Chrissy. “They need you to step up,” Ish says.

While cooking, Amber realizes she lost one of her rings. She thinks it happening while picking up a turkey. “Amber is being extra,” Renee says.

Dr. V thinks Amber isn’t even trying. Matt admits he loves her and also spent thousands of dollars on that ring. With what money, Matt?

In the kitchen, Renee chats with Guy and admits she was in Penthouse, so anything his daughter did isn’t that bad. Guy admits that’s probably why she looks familiar but blegh. Anway. The Graziano sisters are in excellent spirits since their family bonds over making food.

While everyone sits down to eat and chat, Brandi walks in and decides that R&R meant “rest and rose,” showcasing two bottles of wine. Ish and V are pissed. During the dinner, she tells the story about how she told the people at the E.R. about how she was attacked by a German Shepard.

Ish and V break up the party and tell each group why their task was important. But honestly, all of their lessons are kind of weak. Like, Matt, Chrissy, and Guy had to harvest vegetables because emotions were “way, way down.” Why can’t everyone just enjoy the party?

The doctors then make everyone a turn to say why they’re glad they’re not in each other’s family. Amber says Jim is in a war between two women who love him. “You need to marry this girl and let your mom be your mom,” Brandi adds. Chrissy says Matt is complicated, which makes it hard to trust him. Brandi is just straight up drunk. And she decides to pull down her top and showcase two separate star decals on her nipples. Everyone laughs.

While everyone at the table laughs, Tonya Portwood — who I continuously forget is even on this show — called it “disrespectful.”

Now it’s time for Judge Lyn Toler, wearing an orange-yellow dress. She tells Jim that he’s not communicating, even though that was supposedly a big issue for him. He tells Guy that he makes her “woozy” and thinks he needs to actually hear a woman. For Amber, she wants her to decentralize her dude. The relationship shouldn’t define her. As for Matt, he had a rough night but actually kept his word to Dr. V. So he got a bunch of props. There’s no punishment from her tonight, so — hooray?

But oh god, drunk Brandi! She gets on Jim’s lap, and Jim’s hand grazes her butt, and tension happens. Jim says the whole thing made her uncomfortable. Dr. V thinks she’s doing it to embarrass Guy, but uh. I think she’s just drunk or has a concussion. Listen. I don’t know anything about Brandi Glanville, but she’s been weird this episode.