“Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition” S12E8 Recap: Without A Paddle It seems like a simple activity, but *way* too many people don't participate.

Welcome to Day 8 of Marriage Boot Camp! It starts out with Chrissy getting upset with Jim Jones for not saying “bless you” when she sneezed. The campers have two days left, and big decisions need to be made.

Let’s talk about the Graziano sisters. Last week, there was an awful exercise that pretended that sister Jen was dead from the family. Harsh, but hey — it worked. Renee and Lana acknowledged that. “Had I known he was going to kill me off, I would have asked for three nights in the hotel!” Jen laughed upon her arrival back in the house.

Post-Portwood Cuddle

For the Portwood fam, Matt Baier and Amber are handling the aftermath of Matt’s big reveal. Matt was raped as a child and freaked out. When he felt sick and laid down, Amber tried to cuddle and Matt asked her to back off. And now Amber is freaking out. Supposedly Matt tries to fuck her every time she’s in the bathroom, as she repeats that a lot. Their fight ends quick, as the boot campers need to head to the boot camp room. Before they head over, Amber manages to call him a “bitch-ass.”

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Matt doesn’t show up, as he’s a “punk-ass little bitch.” She tells Dr. Ish and Dr. V that he’s perfectly fine, and faking sick. Dr. V thinks Amber needs to rage at someone. “That’s not true,” Amber says. “You don’t know what I’m like at home,” Amber snaps back. Dr. V. knows what she’s like here, though. She thinks Amber needs to get Matt and start this exercise. “Amber keeps blaming her blow ups on Matt, but we’ve seen her do it a couple of times,” Jen says.

Matt finally shows up. He’s not feeling better, but he’s present. Ish and V want them to identify their self-loathing issues this week. Paddles and punching bags are present, and families get split.

As for the paddles, the boot campers have to write what they hate about themselves on the paddle. Matt says he needs about four paddles since he’s not going to pretend that he likes himself. For Guy, he writes about his communication troubles. Tonya writes NOTHING on her paddle, which… really, lady? Really?

“I found a few things I hated about her,” Renee stated. Heh.

Matt lost respect for Tonya for the way she acted during the exercise. Seriously, how is Matt the best person in this family? To be fair, Mama Nancy also seems pretty happy with who she is. She also protests the exercise, and Chrissy is simply over it. But she also didn’t participate? Ugh. Dr. V thinks that it’s been obvious from day one that Mama isn’t into self-reflection.

Dr. V is pissed. Too many people are refusing to get help, and being able to pick and choose exercises isn’t what she’s here for.

As expected, each boot camper hits the bag with their paddle. And they have to vocalize how they feel. Guy, especially, punches it a few times based on his anger. Brandi hates how she’s impulsive and insecure about her age, and isn’t afraid to let it all out.

Jim Jones thinks the exercise is “too aggressive,” and “hitting a bag with a stick” isn’t the kind of release that’ll help him. Dr. Ish tries to talk him through it. Ish and V think that while he’s not into hitting the bag, at least he kinda-sorta participated. Sorta.

It’s Amber’s turn! And Matt’s! Matt hates being a drug addict.

Renee reiterates how pissed she is at Tonya. Tonya pretty much abandoned Amber for a dude, and, well, there’s a reason they’re in the house today. But Amber is against Matt today — she thinks he’s a liar who needs help.

That’s A Paddlin’

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Back to the paddles. On the other side, Ish and V want them to write what they think their family members need to work on. This should be electric for the Portwood family.

Matt plays pool with Brandi and talks about his relationship. Matt laments that Amber never thinks she’s wrong. Mama admits that Amber is nasty and has issues. During a one-on-one, Ish talks to Matt, who admits he loves Amber. The two agree that it’s an unhealthy environment if Amber keeps thinking Matt might leave (in this case, based on the sickness.) “Can that be fixed? Borderline can be fixed?” Matt asks. Ish thinks that Matt just needs to keep showing up for Matt.

The counselors take the gang out to a bonfire and say that each individual will reveal what was on their paddle.

Jim learns that both Mama and Chrissy didn’t participate in the challenge. Jim defends that, which is kind of admirable. V think that the three are taking steps, but just aren’t in sync with each other. Brandi thinks they’re all in denial over their issues. Speaking of…

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The Glanvilles are up next.  Brandi says she’s too defensive and not knowing when enough is enough with impulsive behaviors. Also, if you look close at her paddle, she mentions using too much conditioner. But Guy’s paddle brings Brandi to tears. Guy talks about his hidden fears, and Brandi says he’s the strongest guy she knows. Chrissy thinks Guy and Chrissy are making a ton of progress. The two throw their paddles into the fire, to “let go as one.”

“I’m really learning who you are,” Brandi says to Guy.

Now it’s time for the Graziano sisters! Anger, patience, anxiety, resentment, and being quick to attack are mentioned. Jen thinks Lana’s been trying to show Renee that she’s there. Renee just wants to be accepted. Overall, it’s mega-positive. This was a solid experience for the three of them.

The Portwood Throwdown

But, now it’s time for the Portwoods. It’s down to Amber and Matt, as Tonya was too good for this. “She wrote the word ‘nothing’ on her paddle,” V revealed.

Amber hates that she can’t stay away from unhealthy men. Matt thinks everything on her paddle is “a cop-out.” Matt hates his past, his inability to walk away from controversy, and the drugs — already mentioned. Amber is already fighting about all that.

She thinks Matt is playing the victim and wants her to love sincerely. “Don’t fuck with me right now,” Amber yells at Matt. Matt’s back paddle just reads “anger” many many times. An argument starts, and Brandi thinks someone really needs to take Amber’s paddle away as things might get scary.

Dr. Ish wants Amber to grow as an individual from here, whether or not it’s with Matt. He also calls out Tonya for needing to express her voice.

Judgment From Lynn Toler

Now it’s time for the judge! Lynn Toler comes by to yell at everyone and tell us what we already know.

She thinks Brandi can make changes and says that her father loves her, but she can’t let her dad’s ways step on her tracks. “I think that Judge Toler has been spot on for me,” she says. “I just want to feel loved.”

Next up is the Portwood household. She says how it’s hard to be loved and loathed. But that loving doesn’t mean they should be together. She compares their relationship to a washing machine, and Amber claims it’s what she needed to realize she needs to walk away.

As for Jim, Toler thinks she needs to spend time and resources, and do things he’s not comfortable with. P.S. I keep forgetting he’s a cast member.

Upon dismissal, the cast is told that tomorrow will not be easy. Brandi is especially nervous, as she’s just exhausted. But from what I can tell, this is more or less based on the people that feel that participation isn’t necessary.

Matt sleeps on the couch after all of this, saying it’s simply hard to be in love and loathe with someone. He admits he can’t picture another three years of this.

The episode ends with Mama threatening a cameraman, and surely that’ll be explored next week.

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