It’s amazing the difference three years makes. While Schmidt and Cece are talking about the exhaustion of parenthood at the start of this week’s New Girl, Nick meets with his publisher. Even though he’s psyched about the next step of Pepperwood, his publisher thinks Pepperwood has “run its course,” and asks if Nick has any other ideas. He needs to pitch his best three (which Nick tries to spin into best ten, and then retracts that) ASAP.

Cece is enjoying her adult lunch with Jess, but of course, she can’t stop talking about Ruth. She’s potty training, which means things are extra stressful. But they’re at lunch to celebrate Jess’s new job with the Fancyman. After downing a glass of white wine, she reveals she’s planning on quitting after lunch.

Winston is at the loft watching 3 Men and a Little Lady, and Nick doesn’t know why he’s still there. Schmidt is also still hanging around. “Ruth hasn’t slept in 24 hours,” Schmidt admits. But she fell asleep while driving to the loft, so it’s a win. Nick crowdsources some ideas with Schmidt and Winston, including “Senator Porcupine,” who puts on a tie with his mouth. That’s all he has. After Nick yells about his lack of ideas, Ruth wakes up.

Tuesday Meetings

Cece is chugging wine and coffee while advising Jess about her job, even accidentally putting sugar in her wine. Jess tells her how Russell has Tuesday meetings that she’s excluded from.

She’s often ignored since she’s a woman. Cece, a businesswoman herself,  knows how it feels. Jess thinks back to when she was in administration and realizes she’s been left out of “Tuesday meetings” as long as she can remember.

As for Nick, he finds out he has no ideas. Even when Winston looks at his notebook, he realizes there’s not much there. “Pepperwood is all that I had,” Nick says. He thinks Schmidt used to love fixing his life before Ruth (or, “Ugghh,” as she’s in the room) was around.

Cece’s coffee and wine combo gets even stranger, as she starts putting cream in her wine glasses as the conversation about Jess’s job continues. Jess says she’s not sure why she’s the one who has to quit. “I am drunk right now and very awake!” Cece proclaims.

Talking to Ruth, Nick says that before she came around, he was Schmidt’s baby girl. (LOL, for reals.) Schmidt hands Nick a notebook with an idea that he supposedly had about reactionaries, upping his confidence.

The Bad Pitch

Winston’s still watching his movie, and Schmidt is a little pissed because Ruth finally fell back asleep. He wants Winston to watch in closed captioning. But hey, Nick is also being loud.

Nick pitches “Johnny’s Big Day At Work” to his publisher, but it turns out that his pitch and book were kinda sorta about Commies. Whoops. And another whoops, Ruth wakes up again. The three guys try to 3 Men and a Little Lady her to sleep with a good night song, but she’s not buying it.

A drunk Jess busts into Russell’s meeting, and physically pulls up a chair to get in the game. Russell tells her that the meeting is with his divorced father’s support group. “My dad is a divorced father,” Jess says. “Your kids will turn out fine.”

Cece might have puked in the receptionist desk drawer, which Jess reveals when she talks to Russell about what happened. “Do you not think of me as an equal?” she asks. Russell admits he has a lot of trust issues with his third wife, Jackie. His fourth wife is also named Jackie and they’re related. But regardless, he hired Jess since she’s the perfect person to get stuff done. Jess’s first mission is to demand tampons in the bathroom.

The Bedtime Story

Ruth asks Nick to tell her a story, and Nick feels like he doesn’t have any. But then he makes one up about a magical bear who walks a magical tightrope to Seattle. “This is garbage,” Ruth says. Nick then decides to tell his life story. In Chicago, he delivered himself.  His babysitter was a rollercoaster at the amusement park and a pack of cigarettes. Winston asks him further questions about a hobo he mentioned, and they write it down.

The gang put Schmidt and Cece to bed. Schmidt admits Cece’s breath smells like “a garbage dumpster.” Nick reads them his new bedtime story while Jess sings them to bed. Ruth, by the way, is still wide awake.