So, I tune into the season finale of Survivor like, five minutes too late and see Angelina trying to find an idol with a ladder. She can’t find it but could have died. And there’s something special happening near the well. She sees others by the well and cries a little bit, lying that she fell out of a tree. Even though Alison sees zero bruises on her, Angelina still thinks that everyone bought her story. Ugh, okay.

Since Survivor is going to be on for two hours (not including the reunion!) there’s a shit ton of Immunity Challenges tonight. Here’s the first one. It involves a gigantic puzzle. Know who’d be good at this? Christian. Miss you, buddy.

Immunity Challenge #1

Oh — they’re also enjoying a reward for this one. They get spaghetti with sauce, garlic bread, and cake. “Your tanks are on empty!” Probst says. Later on, he says “This is what 36 days looks like!” since he is one quippy fellow. Kara and Davie get early leads and release their puzzle pieces quickly. Alison is the only one behind. “I hate throwing things!” she exclaims, as she tries to release her puzzle staircase.

After the puzzle staircase is a gigantic puzzle featuring the show’s logo. Kara and Angelina are both neck-in-neck at this point. But, in Jeff’s eyes, this is one of the closest puzzles he can remember. It really is anyone’s game. But, it’s Nick who wins. He states his profile pic is going to be the one of Jeff Probst putting the necklace around his neck. He chooses Angelina to dine with him, since Probst mentioned vegetarian stuff. Davie tells Nick he owes him nothing based on the family visit and goes with Mike instead.

“This has become a common story,” Probst says, with Alison not being chosen. But she’s still there, and she’s still smiling.

Everyone’s enjoying spaghetti, except for the three who are stuck eating rice. Angelina tells Mike and Nick that she wants to be in the final three with them since they’re her brothers and they’re very close because of Jabeni. They all want to get rid of Alison “so freaking bad.” Nick admits he needs to keep Davie in the game as long as he can.

Angelina enlists their help with the idol in order to try and find the clue. Mike, who looks slightly tipsy (or is at least holding a large glass of red wine,) says it’s behind the rock. And it is! “Jabeni!” Angelina says. More like, “Team Spaghetti!”

“This idol is everything!” Angelina says. Mike also does a little dance, and I really hope someone makes a gif of it.

Alison pulls aside Angelina since they have a history, even though she knows Angelina wants her out. “I’ve kind of been driving the last three-ish votes,” Angelina states. Wait, she has? Alison cries about going home, and Angelina says she feels like a mob boss. Okay?

Tribal Council #1

Now, it’s time for the first Tribal Council. Alison says that she used to be aligned with Angelina, and Angelina is all like, “I could have voted for her those days,” but maybe their paths aren’t all that aligned. Davie thinks there’s a little bit of a pecking order that’s making him uncomfortable. Nick is relaxed since he has the necklace.

It’s between Davie and Alison. And it’s actually Davie who’s going home. He feels especially bummed that someone voted him out with a misspelled name. He was my pick to win.

Nick is super pissed, as he was blindsided about the whole thing — and he was lied to, regarding that whole “final three” thing with Angelina. Kara and Alison think Nick is acting childish, since… this is Survivor.

In Mike’s eyes, Nick’s sadness means he might actually need to be the next person out, since otherwise, Nick will come after him. But it’s time for the next challenge.

Immunity Challenge #2

Today, they’ll be perched on a pole in the ocean. Then they’ll get a key that’ll unlock puzzle pieces. First to win gets immunity. Alison can barely get balanced before Jeff Probst announces the challenge is on. From the pole, they need to get water and pour it in the shoot for their key to rise.

Surprisingly, Alison gets an early lead and goes to unlock her puzzle pieces first. Nick is close behind. Pretty soon, Nick gains a bunch of momentum and manages to win his second immunity in a row. Go Nick!

Angelina openly pulls Nick aside and wants to create an epic tribal council and be the star of the show. She wants to create a dream scenario where she plays an idol correctly in the game and thinks it’ll make her look like a badass in front of the jury. Mike thinks it’s weird and extra, and Angelina admits it’s catty. “We don’t need the theatrics right now,” Mike says.

I hate Angelina. Have I said that recently?

Mike tells Kara that Angelina has the idol and that she wants them to vote for her for drama. “She’s like a cruel psychopath,” Mike says. “This is like, I guess, why she wanted to play the game.” He even paints Angelina as a villain.

Funny enough, Kara thinks it might be Mike’s turn to go. He might be weak, but he has a really good social game. Even though Alison likes Mike, she thinks it may be time. “There’s nobody out here that doesn’t like Mike,” Nick admits. “Mike is the threat to win this game.”

Oh, and also Angelina made a fake idol that Alison finds? That’s a thing.

Tribal Council #2

But now it’s time. For what will likely be a massive embarrassing moment for Angelina.

Jeff Probst talks about how he was blindsided by the Davie vote and admitted he was hot-headed. Alison says everyone has been pedal-to-the-metal since Davie left. Angelina says that it was between her and Alison, and who can fight with them. She feels confident, but hey, you never know ’til you know.

Alison calls out Mike as a threat, and Mike is all like, “How’s that? Whatever.” Catty. Anyway. It’s time to vote. Mike votes for Alison, and his speech states that she only gets a B+. Okay.

Alison plays her fake idol and even states she thinks it’s fake, but gives it to Jeff to prove. He admits it’s fake. But now Angelina plays her idol and says she’d love a guaranteed spot. “She can’t stop talking about it,” Gabby whispers on the jury.

Sadly, it’s Alison who’s out tonight. She thanks the remaining Survivor castaways for letting her be part of their dysfunctional family. Tomorrow is the final immunity challenge.

And boy, it’s a doozy.

Immunity Challenge #3

The last challenge of the season includes three Goliath’s and one David, and it includes a ball maze. It’s easy with one ball, but when multiples are added, the Survivor contestants need to learn how to pace.

All contestants make it to three balls. “And with that, you can feel the tension kick in!” Probst yells. “Stay in this, keep fighting!” Angelina drops first, with no chance of immunity. Mike is out next, meaning it’s down to Kara and Nick.

When the fourth ball is out, Kara leaves, which means… Nick wins his third immunity in a row. Kara is nearly speechless. “I forgot that I was managing three balls,” she says in a glum way. She feels like she just failed herself.

As for Nick, he feels amazing. He’s wanted to be out there for years, and he thinks he underestimated himself tonight. He can’t believe he won.

As expected, all of the Survivors give their pitch. Eventually, Nick thinks he has the best chance of winning against Angelina. “I do believe I can win this game,” Angelina blindly states. Kara will be fighting it out with Mike with fire to earn a spot. Kara immediately practices, as she came here to win.

Mike thinks making the fire has always been his nightmare. “I feel nervous about this, and I don’t know, it’s getting into my head,” he says. He never felt more like a David, even though he’s a Goliath.

Tribal Council #3

It’s the final tribal council. Nick openly states that he might not win against Mike or Kara, so it’d make sense to bring Angelina. “I’m super grateful to Nick,” she says. Kara says it’s going to be a great competition tonight. Mike twitches. He thinks that if he loses, he loses quickly.

So, it’s time to get to it. Kara is on orange, Mike is on purple. The two work hard, and both eventually have flames — but, Kara’s continues to go out. “This could very well be a million dollar fire you are making,” Probst states. But, whoa. Mike makes fire first. Sorry, Kara.

Nick, Angelina, and Mike are the final three. Weirdly enough, the three Angelina desired.

The massively weak final three gets a breakfast. Yo, if Nick doesn’t win, I’m going to be pissed. At least we know he likely has Davie’s vote.

Mike is so happy he made it into the final three since as a megafan, he really did it. He made it happen and left it all out on the island. He admits other people played better physical games but felt his social game was great. I have to admit.. he was my favorite Goliath on Survivor on day one.

But, now it’s time for the final Tribal Council. 

Probst decides to start with the Outwit part and wants to talk to Elizabeth first. She wants the three to know that pretty much everyone on the jury is undecided. Christian adds that he wants to have them all admit a time when they outwitted the others. Nick says it was about his one-on-one alliances. It was his way to built personal connections with people.

Slamtown wants to talk to Mike, but Angelina tries to interrupt. She wants to talk about how she was in the doghouse, and, ugh. Enough with you, lady. Then, Mike talks about how Gabby never trusted him and Gabby is like… yeah, she didn’t. Alison says Mike was a little too biting at times, and Mike admits he may have been creating a character while on the show. Ned Schneebly, maybe?

Nick says he’s a lot like Mike in playing a role but actually played the game. Gabby gives props to Angelina for being the last lady left. It’s a shame she sucks. Angelina appreciates that, but says she sometimes overcompensates in a space like this.

Now, time for the Outplay portion, per Probst.

Mike gets called out for not being totally physical, but he  did win the fire challenge. Angelina talks about being out of her comfort zone in finding the idol and says it was a hard idol to find — despite having help. She also said that she didn’t mean to embarrass Alison with that fake idol, but Nick calls her out.

And guys, I’m… kind of bored by this? I don’t like this new jury setup. Nick talks about how his mom had an OD, and how he needed to find “as many stones as I could find” as the underdog.

Mike’s game was never “too nervous.” He wanted to play, and he did play. For him, it wasn’t about the pot of gold. It was about the rainbow.

Now it’s time to vote.

Gabby, as you’d expect, cries as she votes. Davie actually prays as he votes. Christian goes for Mike, due to his strategic play. And, Jeff tallies the votes.

And reads them months later, in the Los Angeles reunion!

So, Who Wins?

Probst says this has been the most fun he’s had in Survivor in a long time. And he’s ready to read the votes.

Nick gets a vote, and Mike gets a vote. They tie again at three votes. But, Nick wins it. Hooray, Team David!